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Collected Neutrino Jokes

Here are some neutrino jokes collected from around the web:

-We don’t allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
- Neutrino. Knock knock.
- Hipsters liked neutrinos before they arrived.
- I wrote a speed of light joke…but a neutrino beat me to it.
- A. To prove particles can travel faster than light Q. Why did the neutrino cross the road?
- I’m going to tweet my neutrino joke yesterday.
- Want to hear a joke about neutrinos? It’d probably go straight through you.
- If that #neutrino is faster than light does that explain why physicists never saw it coming?

Do neutrinos go faster than light?
Some physicists think that they might.
In the cold light of day,
I am sorry to say,
The story is probably shite.
- lumidek Luboš Motl

Chuck Norris plans a press conference for yesterday to explain how he transferred the neutrinos this fast. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- BadAstronomer Phil Plait
They wanted to get home in time for the Big Bang Theory premier tonight. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- iPrash Prashanth Narayanan
A neutrino and a photon walk into a bar. And for the next 60nanoseconds the neutrino complains about how dark it is.

- trewavas Mark Trewavas
A neutrino walks into a bar. The barman doesn’t react as neutrinosare impossible to detect without complex equipment #firstdraftjokes

- MensHumor Men’s Humor
A neutrino walks into a bar, to smoke, and the bartender says, “need a light?” The neutrino replies, ” I am already one step aheadof you.”

- ruskin147 Rory Cellan-Jones
Favourite neutrino joke so far: To get to the other side. Why did theneutrino cross the road?

- jackschofield Jack Schofield
A neutrino walks into a bar, and the barman says “Weren’t youhere earlier?” #joke

- davegobe David Miller
Einstein: “Do you realize how fast you were going?” Neutrino: “No.Was I speeding?”

- pow3rdigm Marc Simoleon
When the light hits your eye like a subatomic pie, that’s neutrino

- billder Bill DeRouchey
Looking forward to the new verb conjugations in the post-neutrinoworld. “I will went to the store.”

- WolframZeta Wolfram
#YoMammaSoFat, she converts to more energy than a faster thanlight neutrino particle. #E=mc^2

- physicsdavid David Harris
Neutrinos don’t believe in the Eurozone #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Speed of light is a liberal hoax #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- enniscath Cath Ennis
Neutrinos were fleeing from Facebook #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Photons stopped for Italian food on the way #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- blakestacey Blake Stacey
Calculations done by visiting Americans who still don’t get the metric system. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- InyakiBCN Iñaki Echegoyen
After neutrino incident, Moody’s downgrades Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity from AAA to AA+. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- skoukouvis Sakis Koukouvis
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was neutrinos #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- achiozoquitl Achiozoquitl
…so you see, Virginia, it’s just that Santa Claus is made of neutrinos. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
RT @NealWeiner The thing about faster-than-light jokes is that they never get old. via @JenLucPiquant

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Neutrino wore Michael Phelps-style swimsuit #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Neutrinos had leaked info about iPhone 5 pre-sale #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Photons thought it was a school zone #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Route was part of autobahn #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Neutrinos on steroids. Disqualified. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Cullen/100002009929729 Michael Cullen

    There way a young lady named Bright
    Whose speed was much faster than light.
    She left home one day
    In a relative way
    And returned the previous night.
    Michael S. Cullen, Berlin, Germany

    • Anonymous

      So old, it’s new again.

  • Lndabaneze

    hmmm , shouldn’t this joke be  ”After neutrino incident, Moody’s downgrades Einstein’s General
    special Theory of Relativity from AAA to AA+ ” ?

  • Gene

    Something exceeds the speed limit in Italy, and somehow this is news?

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  • Hannigan4

    The jokes are almost as funny as the one I told tomorrow!

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  • Anonymous

    so if neutrios are faster than light, which came first? the big bang or neutrinos?

  • I’mstein

    Nuetrino asks…”what’s all this commotion about the Big Bang”

    • I’mstein

      Neutrino.          ” Hey neutrino….you spelled yourself   wrong”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FIAUVXBHZC6A2JZL5RZXWY5W4I Tom G

    This neutrino thing is so 5 minutes ago.

  • Ralpho

    I thought there was something funny going on here,
    but not yet.

  • HawHaw

    I have a pet neutrino.
    I call him Tiny.

  • forest for the trees

    why did you buy a Fiat?  you know they’re notorius for breaking down.

    no worrys, i can put it in the shop tomorrow and pick it up yesterday!

  • M. Jennings

    A #Neutrino and a photon go into an alley, the neutrino complains about the dark until the photo arrives 60 nanoseconds later. #physics #CERN

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  • ihara saikaku

    Neutrino swifty (remember swifties?):
    “I will went to the store,” the neutrino said tensely.

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  • quincyfromcincy

    Neutrino lover: it won’t hurt… did it?

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  • Jay Whitehead

    photon arrives at press conference to announce flaw in OPERA’s FTL measurement, a neutrino in the crowd says “oh thats soo.. yesterday!” :)~

  • Kingsley okoojaja

    The eyes of a blind man suddenly opened and he screamed “I can now see moving particles of photon,I look foward to meeting nutrinos latter; Eintein can do that on my behalf”.

  • Harvey Cooper

    The Ford Motor Company later this year are releasing a special edition Neutrino in red with white decals, to be called the ‘Torino’, and will be debuted on Starsky and Hutch April 30, 1975 on the ABC Network.

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