90.9 WBUR - Boston's NPR news station
Top Stories:
PLEDGE NOW
Collected Neutrino Jokes

Here are some neutrino jokes collected from around the web:

-We don’t allow faster than light neutrinos in here, said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.
- Neutrino. Knock knock.
- Hipsters liked neutrinos before they arrived.
- I wrote a speed of light joke…but a neutrino beat me to it.
- A. To prove particles can travel faster than light Q. Why did the neutrino cross the road?
- I’m going to tweet my neutrino joke yesterday.
- Want to hear a joke about neutrinos? It’d probably go straight through you.
- If that #neutrino is faster than light does that explain why physicists never saw it coming?

Do neutrinos go faster than light?
Some physicists think that they might.
In the cold light of day,
I am sorry to say,
The story is probably shite.
- lumidek Luboš Motl

Chuck Norris plans a press conference for yesterday to explain how he transferred the neutrinos this fast. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- BadAstronomer Phil Plait
They wanted to get home in time for the Big Bang Theory premier tonight. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- iPrash Prashanth Narayanan
A neutrino and a photon walk into a bar. And for the next 60nanoseconds the neutrino complains about how dark it is.

- trewavas Mark Trewavas
A neutrino walks into a bar. The barman doesn’t react as neutrinosare impossible to detect without complex equipment #firstdraftjokes

- MensHumor Men’s Humor
A neutrino walks into a bar, to smoke, and the bartender says, “need a light?” The neutrino replies, ” I am already one step aheadof you.”

- ruskin147 Rory Cellan-Jones
Favourite neutrino joke so far: To get to the other side. Why did theneutrino cross the road?

- jackschofield Jack Schofield
A neutrino walks into a bar, and the barman says “Weren’t youhere earlier?” #joke

- davegobe David Miller
Einstein: “Do you realize how fast you were going?” Neutrino: “No.Was I speeding?”

- pow3rdigm Marc Simoleon
When the light hits your eye like a subatomic pie, that’s neutrino

- billder Bill DeRouchey
Looking forward to the new verb conjugations in the post-neutrinoworld. “I will went to the store.”

- WolframZeta Wolfram
#YoMammaSoFat, she converts to more energy than a faster thanlight neutrino particle. #E=mc^2

- physicsdavid David Harris
Neutrinos don’t believe in the Eurozone #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Speed of light is a liberal hoax #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- enniscath Cath Ennis
Neutrinos were fleeing from Facebook #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Photons stopped for Italian food on the way #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- blakestacey Blake Stacey
Calculations done by visiting Americans who still don’t get the metric system. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- InyakiBCN Iñaki Echegoyen
After neutrino incident, Moody’s downgrades Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity from AAA to AA+. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- skoukouvis Sakis Koukouvis
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was neutrinos #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- achiozoquitl Achiozoquitl
…so you see, Virginia, it’s just that Santa Claus is made of neutrinos. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
RT @NealWeiner The thing about faster-than-light jokes is that they never get old. via @JenLucPiquant

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Neutrino wore Michael Phelps-style swimsuit #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Neutrinos had leaked info about iPhone 5 pre-sale #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Photons thought it was a school zone #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Route was part of autobahn #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

- sciencecomedian Brian Malow
Neutrinos on steroids. Disqualified. #mundaneneutrinoexplanations

Please follow our community rules when engaging in comment discussion on this site.
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Cullen/100002009929729 Michael Cullen

    There way a young lady named Bright
    Whose speed was much faster than light.
    She left home one day
    In a relative way
    And returned the previous night.
    Michael S. Cullen, Berlin, Germany

    • Anonymous

      So old, it’s new again.

  • Lndabaneze

    hmmm , shouldn’t this joke be  ”After neutrino incident, Moody’s downgrades Einstein’s General
    special Theory of Relativity from AAA to AA+ ” ?

  • Gene

    Something exceeds the speed limit in Italy, and somehow this is news?

  • Pingback: E=mc² aproape de a fi desfiintata | Radu Oncescu

  • Hannigan4

    The jokes are almost as funny as the one I told tomorrow!

  • Pingback: Neutrinos spark wild scientific leaps « sciblogging

  • Anonymous

    so if neutrios are faster than light, which came first? the big bang or neutrinos?

  • I’mstein

    Nuetrino asks…”what’s all this commotion about the Big Bang”

    • I’mstein

      Neutrino.          ” Hey neutrino….you spelled yourself   wrong”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_FIAUVXBHZC6A2JZL5RZXWY5W4I Tom G

    This neutrino thing is so 5 minutes ago.

  • Ralpho

    I thought there was something funny going on here,
    but not yet.

  • HawHaw

    I have a pet neutrino.
    I call him Tiny.

  • forest for the trees

    why did you buy a Fiat?  you know they’re notorius for breaking down.

    no worrys, i can put it in the shop tomorrow and pick it up yesterday!

  • M. Jennings

    A #Neutrino and a photon go into an alley, the neutrino complains about the dark until the photo arrives 60 nanoseconds later. #physics #CERN

  • Pingback: Speedy Neutrinos « onestrangequark

  • ihara saikaku

    Neutrino swifty (remember swifties?):
    “I will went to the store,” the neutrino said tensely.

  • Pingback: My dinner with Eddie – The Show Notes | tracy evans dot name

  • quincyfromcincy

    Neutrino lover: it won’t hurt… did it?

  • Pingback: Vorschnelle Neutrinos bringen die Physik durcheinander – eine Betrachtung zum Schmunzeln. « Wissensnetzwerk von Europas Europäern

  • Jay Whitehead

    photon arrives at press conference to announce flaw in OPERA’s FTL measurement, a neutrino in the crowd says “oh thats soo.. yesterday!” :)~

  • Kingsley okoojaja

    The eyes of a blind man suddenly opened and he screamed “I can now see moving particles of photon,I look foward to meeting nutrinos latter; Eintein can do that on my behalf”.

  • Harvey Cooper

    The Ford Motor Company later this year are releasing a special edition Neutrino in red with white decals, to be called the ‘Torino’, and will be debuted on Starsky and Hutch April 30, 1975 on the ABC Network.

ONPOINT
TODAY
Apr 17, 2014
Students cheer and wave as President Barack Obama, not pictured, exits the podium after speaking at the University at Buffalo, in Buffalo, N.Y., Thursday, Aug. 22, 2013, beginning his two day bus tour speaking about college financial aid.  (AP)

The inside dope on college financial aid. The way it really works, who gets what, and how.

Apr 17, 2014
Ultra-Orthodox Jewish men burn leavened items in final preparation for the Passover holiday in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish town of Bnei Brak, near Tel Aviv, Israel, Monday, April 14, 2014. Jews are forbidden to eat leavened foodstuffs during the Passover holiday that celebrates the biblical story of the Israelites' escape from slavery and exodus from Egypt. (AP)

In the week of Passover and anti-Semitic gunfire, we look at the history of the Jews with acclaimed historian Simon Schama. Plus, Pope Francis and the Catholic Church today.

RECENT
SHOWS
Apr 16, 2014
Harvard Business School is one of the top-ranked MBA programs in the country. Our guest today suggests those kinds of degrees aren't necessary for business success. (HBS / Facebook)

Humorist and longtime Fortune columnist Stanley Bing says, “forget the MBA.” He’s got the low-down on what you really need to master in business. Plus: the sky-high state of executive salaries.

 
Apr 16, 2014
A woman walks past a CVS store window in Foxborough, Mass., Tuesday, Feb. 7, 2012. The nation’s major drugstore chains are opening more in-store clinics in response to the massive U.S. health care overhaul, which is expected to add about 25 million newly insured people who will need medical care and prescriptions, as well as offering more services as a way to boost revenue in the face of competition from stores like Safeway and Wal-Mart. (AP)

Retailers from Walgreens to Wal-Mart to CVS are looking to turn into health care outlets. It’s convenient. Is it good medicine? Plus: using tech to disrupt the healthcare market.

On Point Blog
On Point Blog
How Boston Is Getting Ready For the 2014 Boston Marathon
Tuesday, Apr 15, 2014

Boston Globe metro reporter Maria Cramer explains how the 2014 Boston Marathon will be different than races in the past.

More »
Comment
 
WBUR’s David Boeri: ‘There’s Still Much We Don’t Know’
Tuesday, Apr 15, 2014

WBUR’s senior reporter David Boeri details the ongoing investigation into the alleged Boston Marathon Bombing perpetrators.

More »
Comment
 
Remembering The Boston Marathon Bombing, One Year Later
Tuesday, Apr 15, 2014

One year after the Boston Marathon Bombing, we look back at our own coverage of the attacks and the community’s response from April 2013.

More »
Comment